A Year (or So) In Review

Wednesday, June 15, 2016

Hi beautiful people. Long time, no see. This year has been a crazy one- full of ups, downs, and super surprises- and I thought that for my first blog post back, I'd do a mini list of all the things that since my last post consisted of. For a little background into why this year was extremely monumental from me, I'd suggest you check out this post- How I Manage My Mental Health. A lot of these things are little everyday things that people already do in general, but because of my mental illnesses and how I was effected by them, they are HUGE steps in the life that I want (and am able) to live. To be honest, this is more for myself because when you are living your life day by day, it's hard to reflect on how much you've accomplished, but with out further ado -for anyone interested- my life milestones from August 2015 to June 2016.

  • August 9- I finally gave into my friend's, Serenity, pleads and went to the Ohio State Fair on the last day it was open. It was tough because of my Agoraphobia, but I went and had fun! On the ferris wheel, we talked about life. We specifically talked about my home schooling and how she wanted me to join her for our senior year. I declined because I thought I wasn't ready and I already had a school in mind if I were to go to brick and mortar schooling. Serenity encouraged me to apply and pointed out that I was having a great time outside of my house due to the fact that I did progress a lot in my therapy. I thought about it. 
  • August 10- I applied to my alma mater, ACPA. I had already attended the school in the 2014-2015 school year for a day, but went back to homeschooling due to a extreme panic attack. Legit one hour after I applied I got a call from the founder, GG, saying that she remembered me and I was immediately accepted. (Also, I was apparently the first new person accepted into the 2014-2015 class, which I learned from the call. Even though I made it a day, I think that's pretty cool.)
  • August 18th- My ONE DIRECTION concert! I saw them at the Ohio State Shoe stadium. Yet again, a big thing for me with my Agoraphobia that I was still learning to cope with at the time. Had a panic attack at the beginning, but stuck it through and had the night of my life!

  • August 20th- First school function! Back to School Bash. Arrived, had a panic attack, hid in the 'Dragon' Bathrooms for a good twenty minutes sipping on Pepsi- unsanitary, I know- then I finally got the courage to get out and find GG. She introduced me to Darren and Stephannie and from there I was introduced to a lot of people. Overwhelming at the time, but I stuck it out and was proud of myself even though I didn't remember any names.
  • August 25th- First Day of School for New Students. As a senior, a lot of my classes were empty.
  • August 26th- Real first day of School! It went well even though I had a few panic attacks. I ended up going to the collaboration room and I got help from Nancy there. She sent out a mass email to my teachers to let me out 5 minutes before class if need be to help me with my Agoraphobia and hallway crowds. (Stuck it out and I ended up never using this IEP privilege!)
  • Made a lot of friends! 
  • October 27th- I saw HALSEY! I was uncomfortable because I had been panicking before hand due of school troubles. It was really cold and rainy outside and I was wearing a skirt so I didn't really enjoy this night as much as I wanted because I was on edge, but it was still amazing. 

  • Rough patch. Lost some 'friends'!  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
  • Sometime in December- I auditioned for my school's spring musical- In the Heights!
  • January 20th- I got inducted into the National Honor Society!
  • Gained amazing friends! 
  • February 25th- I performed with my lovely Ballet class at the school's Dance Concert.
  • March 17 to 19- After three long, hard months I performed in the In The Heights musical ensemble with the rest of my amazing cast/classmates.

  • April 7th- I walked in a fashion show! I got to show off amazing designs from my friend Darren and looked great tbh.

  • April 14th- I ran for prom queen! We had to send in mini video submissions to be evaluated by the Junior and Senior classes. My video was lighted, edited, prim, proper and ready to go!
  • April 21 to May 12- Started Volunteering at my local hospital and library for my Senior Project!
  • May 13th- Quit my toxic ex-job!!!
  • Also May 13th- Went to my first school dance ever- Prom! I had a great time and ended up being prom queen!

  • May 16th- Presented my Senior Project! I volunteered over 144 hours when the required was 119. I had fun and learned a lot at my volunteering sites. I also did very well on my presentation! 5 out of 5!
  • May 19th- Last day at my ex-work. Yassss, lolol.
  • May 20th- Senior graduation rehearsal, cook out, and clap out! A nice, chill day with free food and laughs. 
  • May 21st- I graduated!!! 

  • May 22nd- I saw the 1975 and made some more really great friends! I waited in line for about 9 hours and it was worth it. 
  • June 1st- Officially hired at my new job!
  • June 5th- First day at work. Managers nicknamed me 'Sunshine'.
(Please take note of how my panic attacks weren't mentioned as you went further down the page!)

For a person who spent her first 6 months of homeschooling in the solitary confinement of her home and therapist office due to severe anxiety as a 13 year old, for a person who gave up a lot of her childhood dreams and truly believed that she would be completely dependent on government disability as an adult, for a person who struggles with suicidal tendencies and ideations (four months clean btw!), for a person who was in and out of hospitals and ERs more times as a child under the age of 16 more than the average bare due to a complete sense of helplessness, I am pretty damn proud of how far I've come within this past school year. 

So many good and positive things have happened that I will cherish forever. Memories and friends made for a lifetime. I'm also grateful for my rough patches because they gave me life lessons that I'll never forget.

I have lots more to look forward to in the future! I'm going to see Halsey again with my friend Vynni in August, after that I could possibly go to England for a school trip if my finances add up, then after that college and more! We'll see how life leads me.

Until then xx, Victoria

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